Man, so much of what I’m learning lately has to do with my salvation, and ironically with my own assurance of my salvation. A few months ago I gave a sermon on Hebrews 6:9-12, which speak of acting out in assurance of your own salvation. God wants us to be assured, confident, steadfast in our confidence of our salvation so that we can act boldly in our faith, because we know that nothing can stop us, God is on our side (Romans 8:28-31)!
God is opening my eyes to so much. I’ve tripped up a few times since moving up to Nashville, and it’s been holding a death grip on me. So much guilt and so much shame. But not only that, but God has been using my isolation to show me things and open my eyes to my own spiritual condition. But what am I talking about? I’m already getting ahead of myself.
Without going into to much history, God has showed me that I am incapable of receiving love/affection from others. It feels weird and out of place, and I don’t receive it because of that. I can blame in on a whole bunch of things. My childhood, Middle School and the hell those 3 years were, relationships, etc. But what I know is that I am deeply wounded and never realized it until now, which I am deeply grateful for. Everyone thinks I’m this strong, mature Christian. Yeah. About that. I’m weak as I’ll get out and God is the one who got me here, and he’s really showing me that now. I have no idea how I got here in one piece, other than he held me together long enough to get here.
Opened Eyes