Nathaniel Schweinberg

Summer Update!

nathaniel — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 18:46:17 +0000

Hey friends! Here’s a little update on how things have been this summer. More to come soon!

Stressful Sheep

nathaniel — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 20:00:33 +0000

I HATE stress. If there is anything in life that I despise, loath, or shake my fist at, it’s stress. It goes against every bone in my body. And it goes against scripture too (Luke 12:22-34). So why in the heck to do we put so much time and energy into stressing out about things? One big way that we stress ourselves out is by keeping our phone on all the time.

I just recently got a smart phone for a graduation present and it’s been awesome. I love having my email, twitter, and posterous in my pocket wherever I go. It’s been a lot of fun being able to go somewhere and update right then and there. The problem, however, is that I often whip out my phone to see if someone had sent me a text/email/tweet/direct message/call/poke/present/picture/link/reference. How often do I let this little device control me? I know that whenever I hear that ringtone or feel that vibration, I jump to grab my phone, regardless of the circumstances.

Really? Am I that enslaved to a cell phone? A computer? A stress?

We all are so easily controlled and influenced by things, and that’s probably why Jesus calls us sheep, and he is our shepherd. We’re dumb as a doornail. We wouldn’t know what’s good for us if it stared us in the face. That’s why He’s the head of the body and we’re the members, so that he’s in control. But how often is that the reality? Not really that often. Which is an issue. How does he influence your life in this regard? Does he control your life, or does your life control you?

I invite you to control your life. Don’t submit to a yoke of slavery again (Gal 5:1); Live in the freedom Christ purchased for you! I’m learning how valuable it is to keep things simple in life. I used to use Remember The Milk, but now I carry around a little pocket journal. I don’t really use facebook; Twitter is my main platform. I used to post to my Posterous and Flickr, now I just post to Posterous. Moral of the story? Keep things SIMPLE, my friends. It’s way more fun that way.

Jesus Doesn’t Rush Things

nathaniel — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 15:00:11 +0000

So I’m reading through the BIble in a year. I was pretty hesitant at first because all last fall I would read maybe 2 verses a day. Needless to say, I was taking things really slow and tried to let things sink in pretty deep. So, to go from reading 2 verses a day to about 3 or 4 chapters was a bit disconcerting. I liked taking it slow. I didn’t miss anything, or at least I tried not to. But, in February, I decided to jump on the bandwagon and join my campus ministry in doing reading the Bible in a year. Have I regretted it? Not at all. It’s actually been really cool to read a bit from each section of the bible: History, Wisdom, New Testament, and Epistles. But it definitely calls into question why I’m doing it.

Starting off, I definitely didn’t care about reading the bible in a year or being able to say I did so. I still don’t. But it’s hard reading it in a year because I do feel that I miss things that I wouldn’t have otherwise. Somedays I read, and sometimes I actually absorb what it has to say. But more often, I’m rushing through it. It makes me think: if Jesus didn’t rush through things, why should I?

What I mean is this: Jesus was never in a rush to get anywhere. I cite the feeding of the four and five thousand. In both instances the disciples are telling Jesus, “send these people home so they can eat!” Jesus disagrees and tells them to find food, and they do and he blesses the food. Another instance is when you and I were saved. We weren’t completely sanctified right then and there. Sanctification is a process, and we have a very patient God. Also, think about when God had the Israelites wander in the desert for 40 years. He wasn’t in such a rush to get them there that he allowed an unbelieving generation to enter the Promised Land. No. He waited 40 years for them to die off, so that a young believing generation would.

I challenge you: why do you worry about things? Are things really that important? Consider driving for a moment. Why go 10 miles over the speed limit, breaking the law, to get to a meeting you’re already late to? Those 10 miles are only going to get you there MAYBE 2 minutes faster. (Do the math sometime.) Few things in life are ever so important as to rush them. So take your time. Enjoy the grace God has given you =]

Contributing author at WorshipVJ.com

nathaniel — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 02:56:24 +0000

So I’m very excited to be the latest contributing writer at http://www.worshipvj.com! I’m currently interning with Stephen Proctor at Grateful Inconvenience, Inc. I’m very excited for what this summer has to offer and I’ll be sure to keep you guys posted. Keep your eye out for my posts over there! Go ahead and follow Stephen while you’re at it, too.

Opened Eyes, pt. 2

nathaniel — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 12:30:00 +0000

So I guess you’re wondering what I’m actually learning and what I’m going through as of late?

In the last post, we talked about how God has showed me that I am incapable of receiving love/affection, right? Great. Let’s keep going. It’s really hard for me to receive love. I’d like to think it’s because I’m always giving it out, and don’t know how to get it back. But we’ll see.

3 sundays ago I went to Journey Church, in Franklin. It was AWESOME. It reminds me of my church back home, Crossbridge Christian Church, but more mature in their journey. I think this is what Crossbridge will look like in a few years, which is very exciting.

Anyway, when the band got on stage, I noticed a rather beautiful woman playing guitar who looked astonishingly similar to an old friend of mine. Well, the song started building more and more, and it was about time for someone to start singing. She started walking up and I thought to myself, “Crap. She’s going to have a beautiful voice.” And, what do you know, she did.

…Why is that a bad thing? Hah, this is where things get juicy and the wounds get oozy. Immediately I thought to myself, “I can’t have her.” I have this inherit fear that because I’m not perfect, not good enough, man enough, mature enough, that I’ll never have a girlfriend or spouse. I’m not sure where things went after this, but I started bawling. I flat out don’t cry, and I was bawling. The Spirit impressed on my heart that how can I receive the love of another if I can’t even receive God’s love first? How can I love, if I first haven’t been loved?

This, my friends, is my deepest wound. This is the source of all the crap that I deal with, all the way from lust to lack of self-worth/confidence. I’m incapable of receiving love. So I can’t love. At this point I’m sopping wet in tears and snot. The lady next to me was kind enough to give me a tissue so I could wipe it all off. Needless to say, I was a little embarrassed, but thankfully there were about 50 other people crying throughout the crowd. Apparently the Spirit showed up in power that day.

What do I do with this? I have no idea other than to wait on God. He’s showing me this, so he’s going to work on it. That’s what he does. Why would he show me something and not do anything?

Random Thoughts: Mugs

nathaniel — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 15:00:29 +0000

Opened Eyes

nathaniel — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 19:50:18 +0000

Man, so much of what I’m learning lately has to do with my salvation, and ironically with my own assurance of my salvation. A few months ago I gave a sermon on Hebrews 6:9-12, which speak of acting out in assurance of your own salvation. God wants us to be assured, confident, steadfast in our confidence of our salvation so that we can act boldly in our faith, because we know that nothing can stop us, God is on our side (Romans 8:28-31)!

God is opening my eyes to so much. I’ve tripped up a few times since moving up to Nashville, and it’s been holding a death grip on me. So much guilt and so much shame. But not only that, but God has been using my isolation to show me things and open my eyes to my own spiritual condition. But what am I talking about? I’m already getting ahead of myself.

Without going into to much history, God has showed me that I am incapable of receiving love/affection from others. It feels weird and out of place, and I don’t receive it because of that. I can blame in on a whole bunch of things. My childhood, Middle School and the hell those 3 years were, relationships, etc. But what I know is that I am deeply wounded and never realized it until now, which I am deeply grateful for. Everyone thinks I’m this strong, mature Christian. Yeah. About that. I’m weak as I’ll get out and God is the one who got me here, and he’s really showing me that now. I have no idea how I got here in one piece, other than he held me together long enough to get here.

Recently…

nathaniel — Wed, 26 May 2010 23:50:25 +0000

Hey friends!

I’ve actually got some new blog posts coming down the line, so be excited. A lot of them are serious, but packed full of juicy goodness. God is doing a lot with my move to Nashville and it’s going to be a pretty crazy road. He’s showing me a lot. This is an excerpt from my journal a few days ago…

I don’t believe. I have such a hard time believing. So often I’m just going through life, pulling up my bootstraps and just going. Nowhere. Just going. I’m not headed in any specific direction, I just wake up and go. I don’t take the time to focus in the morning to realize that I am created and loved by God. Yeah, I’ll read my Bible, but I won’t realize who I am and what Christ has done for me. Who GOD is. What HE’s done. It’s not about me. It’s all about him.

I was reading this blog entry at 268generation.com, which is what inspired this post. Missionaries blow my mind. So often I’ve heard about people bringing someone to Christ, to the awesome thing that Salvation is. But do I believe in my own salvation? Am I convinced? I don’t think so. At the root, at the core, I don’t think I believe that I am saved. Why? Well, what do my actions show? When I sin, I grovel. I beg for forgiveness. I walk in shame realizing I’m an awful sinner with no hope aside from Christ. Then I do my best to figure out how can I not sin again. What’s wrong with this picture?

There is no joy.

Where is my joy? Christ HAS saved me! PAST TENSE! It HAS happened, it is already finished! I am his, and He is mine. There isn’t anything God can do to save me more; I can’t be justified again. I’m already justified. I believe in the resurrection and that Christ has died for my sins. Now I just need to believe that he resurrected so that I could be resurrected to the same life, and life without sin and death. Is it possible? Completely. Anything is possible, right? So let’s pursue the prize with everything we’ve got. I AM saved. Now I need to walk in my Salvation. I encourage you, to do the same.

Bruno Bear

nathaniel — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:57:50 +0000

So a really good friend of mine, and practical roommate, Marc Bruno, recently submitted a design to Simple Desktops. Better yet, it actually got added! He had to have an URL to submit, so he used mine. So just so you know, it’s actually by him, and not by me. I’m working on my own right now, actually. I just wanted to give credit where credit was due =]

Check it out:

You can download it here.

Journal Entry // Feb 18, 2010

nathaniel — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 01:32:03 +0000

Tonight is a Milestone for me. It marks the next chapter in my walk with God but also my own spiritual maturity. It’s time to stop pursuing girls and start pursuing the man God has designed me to become. what does this mean for you? This is an open license to hold me accountable to the highest standard possible, which is that of being like our Savior, Jesus Christ.

The road has already been marked out for me. It doesn’t change who I am, it just means be better, to keep improving. So please, hold me to this standard.

So what’s going to change? What’s on the horizon?

Being held to the higher standard.
Confidence in who I am. Not arrogance, or pride, but confidence and steadfastness in Christ. If I can’t stand on the Rock, how can I support or carry someone else?
Setting attainable goals. Read my Bible every day (including weekends). Fast once a week. Invest in at least 2 guys a week, and it goes on.
Becoming the man I want to be, that God’s designed me to be, and my (future) wife needs me to be.
Along with that, what Qualities, as a Man of God, do I want to exhibit? Do I want to be more patient, kind, etc.
Actively working on my trade and working on my portfolio/resume. Getting ready for the work force to take care of myself and future family.
Altogether, pulling myself together, girding my loins, and becoming the man I need/want/will be.

So please. Hold me to this standard. I can’t do this alone. I need your help, and desperately need God’s help. This is a team effort, friends =]